Women and Their Bodies NGO, November 2015
“At home, speaking about sex was always swept under the rugs. It was not possible to walk around my father or brothers, unless I was fully clothed. Revelations about sex and sexuality came, if and when, from friends and self discovery”.
Sexuality is a main and important driving force in our lives, which begins in childhood and lasts until the end of our lives. The female body constitutes a center of restrictions, prohibitions and warnings that become the soundtrack that plays within our bodies and souls during the most intimate moments. Female sexuality is an unknown land, which in recent decades has increased in its intensity and complexity. It is full of contradictions and boundaries, which are not deciphered, concealed, bursting, paralyzing, screaming and pleasing. Sexuality is private and intimate and constitutes the source of complex feelings such as pleasure, power and release but is also a source of guilt, embarrassment, difficulty and vulnerability. Female sexuality embodies the saying “personal in political” since sexuality is also part of the public dialogue in political, religious and cultural issues. Beginning in the 1970’s, discussions about the body revealed links between advertising, pornography, prostitution, exploitation, rape and violence, and raised awareness of women’s rights over their bodies, for example, contraception, vasectomy and having an abortion. The connections expanded the confusing sequence of female sexuality as a celebration, as a measure for empowering women with aspects of exploitation, objectification and injustices.
We believe that sexuality encompasses the complete and overall nature of a woman’s sexual feelings with herself and towards others, as well as the feelings and practices through which she experiences and expresses herself. Sexuality is a “pie of sexuality”, which stores within it pieces of links such as thoughts, desires, fantasies, the way we speak, dress, move, and masturbate, and the most known piece of the pie – sex with our partner. The pie consists of layers and tiers, it is composed of dialogues between power and pleasure, knowledge and vulnerability, and it moves along changing sequences, as well as the sequence of time, sexual identity and the level of interest in sex. Each of us experience sexuality differently. The experiences, desires and practices, as well as the level of implementation of fantasies, are also changing and dynamic.
Sexual development is an inseparable part of our existence from the beginning of our lives. The reproductive system develops and exists both physically and emotionally from the fetal stage. Thus, every so often, even male fetuses can have erections and female fetuses can have vaginal trembles. Masturbation and sexual curiosity in young children are part of their natural development. Teenage girls experience initial discoveries of their changing body, and we begin to detect the “double sexual standard” and its price. The complexity continues also as young women enter into motherhood, when they are supposedly already responsible for themselves, however the soundtrack plays independently. Sexuality then undergoes changes again during menopause, it still continues and develops as a whole, and it definitely still exists even in mature and elderly women.
Sexuality is a main cultural phenomenon that is studied by different disciplines – medicine, psychology, sociology and philosophy. Nevertheless, unfortunately, even at the end of 2015, it is easier to have a conversation and find support when it is related to the negative aspects of sex (coping with risky situations, sexual assault and unwanted pregnancy) than having conversations about the positive aspects such as masturbation, the female orgasm and pleasure.
The figures indicate that one in three women cannot have an orgasm, and based on this, we still have a lot of work. We know that sexuality is a sensitive and charged topic culturally and religiously, however, we believe that every woman and teenager, in every culture and with any religious affiliation, must have the right to learn about and know her body and to derive pleasure from it, speak about sexuality, ask questions and cope with painful topics relating to sexuality and vulnerability.
In the “Women and Their Bodies” association, we suggest developing a dialogue about healthy sexuality, satisfaction and pleasure, which will allow women to learn and become familiar with themselves, their bodies and their private parts. Every woman has her own characteristics, and as women we should stop and think: what do we think about when we think of human sexuality? Do we think of ourselves and our pleasures, or do we think of images, which may not necessarily be realistic, from the world of advertising, television and pornography? Do we see ourselves as sexual objects through the eyes of a camera or through the eyes of a male? Are we connected to our private, subjective, experience? Dealing with this complex can be accomplished through knowing ourselves and our constantly changing bodies. A familiarity that will allow us to connect to our wants, desires and yearnings. The work that we conduct with young girls (starting at age 11), young women, middle-aged women, and elderly women, indicates that the subject is fascinating, yet silenced. Healthy and pleasuring sexuality, where women and teenage girls are free to discover, learn and explore their own sexuality, and when they feel that they have the right to pleasure and satisfaction, allows them to feel safe and protected.
